‘Xbox, it’s time you stopped taunting us with custom consoles we can’t buy’

I’m a bit of a sucker when it comes to a fancy controller design.

Over the years I’ve happily double-dipped and bought a new controller, even when my current one is working perfectly well, just because I think it looks cool.

As a faithful Celtic FC supporter I’ve visited the Xbox Design Lab on no fewer than three occasions to make my own green and white controllers – first for Xbox One controller, then a Series X controller, then an Elite Series 2 controller.

Fancy controllers are something Xbox has plenty of experience with. It seems like almost every month there’s some other new colour or limited design getting the official Xbox Wireless Controller treatment, from the nifty Aqua Shift one (which has a sort of shimmering effect) to the brilliant Forza Horizon 5 one with the visible rumble motors.

I’ve bought a few of these. Along with my launch Series X and Series S controllers and my aforementioned Design Lab ones I’ve personally forked over my hard-earned cash for the transparent 20th Anniversary controller and the Starfield one (even though I still haven’t even played Starfield yet because, well, you know).

And yet, the sad reality is that the very best of these Xbox controllers can’t actually be bought by the public, because they’re created exclusively as sweepstakes prizes.

That’s before I even start on the Xbox consoles too, which are given away in similarly limited numbers.

These aren’t sporadic one-offs: I’m not exaggerating when I say there are so many of these. Here’s a gallery showing a bunch of brilliant consoles and controllers, all of which were given away by Xbox as prizes, and none of which were made available to buy.

That’s not even all of them – that’s just as many as I could manage to gather before I could feel the tears welling up and had to stop.

There are at least ten of those controllers in that gallery that would have, at the very least, forced me to sit down with my wallet and have a serious conversation with it. And yet, such discussions are pointless, because they aren’t for sale.

Today, however, is the final straw for me, because Xbox has announced the latest of its custom console sweepstakes and it’s even fancier than usual.

To celebrate the release of X-Men 97 on Disney+, Xbox is giving away an Xbox Series X console wrapped in an exclusive two-page comic created by Marvel writers and artists.

What’s more, it’s also created no fewer than 11 controllers, each based on a different X-Men character, and each packaged in a blister pack similar to those the old X-Men action figures were sold in.

“Each character comes to life through unique controller designs, and comes in a 90’s inspired blister pack that makes for the ultimate collector item,” Xbox says in its blog article.

There’s just one problem, of course. What’s the point in “the ultimate collector item” when people can’t collect them?

This would be simply annoying if Xbox didn’t already have its own ways of customising your console and controller. The fact it does, and still chooses to keep these from players, is just bewildering.

The Xbox Design Lab site currently lets you apply a Fallout design to your controller for an extra $14.99 / £12.99.

Thanks very much, but that’s the only custom pattern available based on an IP – the rest are camo, vapour or the (admittedly eye-catching) Pride one. What if I want that Bluey controller instead? Or the Pac-Man one? Or the TMNT ones? And for the record, I do. I’d pay extra to pop those onto a Design Lab controller.

Obviously licensing is a factor here, but it should be noted that Xbox has actually already released a collection of limited edition controllers based on a third-party IP before. Sadly, those controllers were based on Space Jam: A New Legacy, and were therefore of no use to anybody.

As for the consoles, you may have forgotten (like so many have) that back in August 2023, Xbox announced that it was releasing official Xbox Series X console wraps.

Priced at $45-50 depending on design, these fancy wraps are “made with solid core panels that are layered with high-tech fabric finishes” and “are folded around your console and secured with a hook and loop enclosure”.

Eight months have now passed since that announcement and we have a grand total of two wraps in Europe (Starfield and Mineral Camo) and three in the US (the previous two plus Arctic Camo).

I would love to buy a wrap for my Series X to give it a makeover but, with the very greatest of respect, I don’t want to make it look like a soldier hunting a polar bear. Give me that ’90s X-Men comic design as a console wrap and I’ll happily chuck money at you with the reckless abandon of a 41-year-old grasping desperately at his youth.

Ultimately, I get that the point of these sweepstakes is to promote the brand and to increase engagement with either the Microsoft Rewards platform or the Xbox Twitter account (depending on where each sweepstake is held).

I can’t help feeling, however, that they’re causing more ill-will than goodwill at this point. I certainly know that each time I see another great new design that I’m not allowed to buy, and know that Xbox has gone to all that effort for something that will only eventually benefit as few as one person, I don’t feel great about it.

Come on Xbox, share the love a bit. I’m sitting here, waiting to give you money, and I’m sure I can’t be the only one.